What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
