you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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