Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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