how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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