That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
