just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
