I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
