I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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