Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
this boner is exhausting
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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