i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
