She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
either way he was missing a nipple.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
