I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
