I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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