Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize