I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
