I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
