Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
