your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
