I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
