can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
