SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Randomize
