Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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