Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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