We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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