Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
