so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
