if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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