you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
