I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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