erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
whose ass print is on the piano?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
