if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
