His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize