I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
