reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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