OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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