Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
