No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She told me I should be a condom model.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize