You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
