Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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