it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
