dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
