I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
