You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize