Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
