I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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