I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
