guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
