Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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