i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
