The maid of honor just puked.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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