why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I believe in your delicious
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
