well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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