My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
