I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
