the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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