I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
My vagina is very pro this idea
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
