Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We left the knife in your bed.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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