Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
