he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
