Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
