for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
And then my night got REAL pukey
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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