just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
