drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize