I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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